Nobody 855

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Nobody # 855

Nobody Asked Me But:

That Was The Week That Was – As always, each of these short verses is based on a news event that happened during the past week.

Abe and George were top of the line

The best of the best without fail

For nation’s call,

Each man stood tall

As leaders they’re our Holy Grail

The Greeks are all going Nazi

With Jew-hate running quite strong

Poor Socrates,

Would fall on his knees

In sorrow at all of this wrong

They’re painting their filth on the synagogues

I’d like to join their fun

We’ll meet in the bar

And I’ll buy a jar

Of hemlock or two for each one

Wisconsin’s Governor, Scott Walker

With his collective bargaining raves

Must cause the state’s

Progressive greats

To turn over in their graves

Scott Walker’s for union-busting

A Right Holy-Warrior is he

He said, ”I’m the choice

Of the people, their voice

As long as with me they agree

CBS drew their line in the sand

And gave Charlie Sheen’s show the toss

You can threaten your wife

With a long butcher knife

But you cannot bad-mouth your boss

So Bryant, I see, was game MVP

As a player he has not a peer

Now he must inspire

His Lakers with fire

And a well-placed swift kick in the rear

Now Kobe has four, and no one has more

And only Bob P has the same

That’s Pettit I mean,

My Bob left the scene

As one of the greats of the game

In Belgium the Flemings and Walloons

Can’t agree on which party should rule

Their credit is dropping,

But still there’s no stopping

This bunch simply can’t keep their cool

More Zona laws ‘gainst illegals

We are tired of taking their sass

We can’t be more clear

We don’t want them here

Unless they are mowing our grass

Carmelo heads off to the Knickers

But their star doesn’t like what he sees

In the city they call

“The Big Apple”

Amare wants to be “The Big Cheese”

Cal Tech won its first conference victory

After losing three hundred straight games

After twenty-six years

It’s at last time for cheers

As forever we honor their names

Gaddafi was deaf to the rebels

Says of Libya he will stay the head

Tells the rebs to go home

If you continue to roam

My son plans to shoot you all dead

Gaddafi says he’ll die a martyr

The man is becoming buffoon

While he’d like to wait

For some later date

The world is hoping for soon

Tech froze the faculty salaries

Said that these are the toughest of days

But then told their coach,

You’re more important than most

So we’ll give you a half-a-mil raise

When questioned about shooting the President

Georgia’s Paul Brown had a choice

To put down this kook

With a well-timed rebuke

Instead poor Paul Brown lost his voice

I am sure you will think that I’m kidding

That with you I’m just having some fun

But it’s no laughing matter

They are mad as a hatter

Arizona may name Colt state gun

Reid wants to end prostitution

That’s Harry, Nevada’s main man

Says why should we charge

One hundred bucks large

Free sex is the key to my plan

Who rules America, who has the power

The Post says it’s AARP

Our foes call us wheezers

But all hail to we geezers

We’ve earned what we get yes-sir-e

I admit that I was shocked. Going into yesterday's game against Arizona, I expected a close loss, but would not have been surprised by a close win. But the Bruins winning by 22 shocked me. Obviously, we played our most complete game of the season. Top 25, anyone?<<<

In closing, here’s a preview of tonight’s Academy Awards. If you see similar predictions, please remember that they were stolen from me, not vice-versa.

Best Picture – “The King’s Speech” over “The Social Network” - which should have won

Best Director – David Fincher (“The Social Network”) over Tom Hooper (“The King’s Speech”)

Best Actor – Colin Firth – a run-away

Best Actress – Natalie Portman over Annette Bening

Best supporting Actor – Christian Bale over Jeoffrey Rush

Best supporting Actress – Hailee Steinfeld over Melissa Leo ( very close, I could miss this one)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH – TOMORROW!!

Nobody 854

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Nobody # 854

Nobody Asked Me But:

Happiness is a Valentine’s week eating my wife’s incredible mac and cheese and drinking a bottle of 1994 Duckhorn Cabernet.

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS (Let’s start with budget cutting and move on from there)

The Republicans opted for agony

The President settled for pain

While Coulter, again, made a weirdo remark

That nobody else could explain

She said all the Dems are conspirators

And their plan is to ruin Uncle Sam

When it comes to reporting facts and the truth

This lady does not give a damn

But Obama defended his budget

We must rebuild to win the world’s praise

Polls said the people are with him

As long as somebody else pays

For Valentine’s Day, a kiss led the way

The debate was for film’s all-time best

It was easy for me, it’s “Eternity”

I’ll leave you to choose from the rest

Berlusconi faced still more sex charges,

He’s big on romance with a teen

Mark Sanchez sent him good wishes,

And said that all sex laws are mean

Ron Paul won the first CPAC polling

Obama beat Jeb Bush real big

Trump, while on Fox, threw his hat in the ring

Or was that just The Donald’s wig

Gaga arrived in a huge greenish egg

But lost her Gram to ’Cade Fire

Meanwhile the rest, put fashion to test

As they strutted in most strange attire

Haley Barbour confronted with KKK plates

He will not renounce, says report

These guys are all from my church down the street

And I really need their support

“Musial received Freedom Medal

The Prez honored Card’s Stan “the Man”

His whole life defined the word classy

Made everyone Stan “the Man’s” fan

Baseball filled most of the airways

Can spring really be far away?

While it looks rocky now for the Dodgers

Hope will rule hearts play ball day

McCourt told the fans not to worry

This season the team will go deep

“As you know, I am all about winning

As long as we win on the cheap”

Boehner gave praise to Barack

On Egypt the Prez did quite well

That’s different from what his party’s right said

As they wished him a quick trip to hell

There’s a new book just out about Bogie

Tough with no gun was his rep

He proved it by being most willing

To live his full life out of step

A tide of revolt swept the Mideast

Egypt’s reforms stirred demands

From Iran to Bahrain to Yemen

More freedom for Islamic lands

Meanwhile the leaders in Iran

Said they loved what occurred ’long the Nile

As they warned the Tehran protesters

Beware, ’cause your name’s in our file

It was machine vs. man on Jeopardy shows

Of dollars, machine won the most

But Watson won more, got its foot in the door

To replace Alex Trebek as host

The liberals are quite down on Barack

Said his cuts are selling them out

Shouldn’t someone remind all the lefties

It’s not very classy to pout

A Dick Armey FreedomWorks memo

All public health options attacks

Said the rich can afford a good doctor

While the poor can always seek quacks

The Lakers embarrassed by Cleveland

Said we just did not show up to play

We were tired and bored, right out of our gourd

But yes, we will still take our pay

Blast From The Past (LA Daily News) - April 26, 1945 Due to a farm worker shortage caused by a federal limitation on use of Mexican workers, SF valley farm owners may have to use German prisoners of war.<<<

NY Times report – This winter’s bad weather slows job growth.

Republican reaction – “We told you that Obamacare would have a disastrous effect on this great nation’s weather.<<<

The best movie review line of the week was from NPR: The movie, “I am Number Four” – the review line, “Can we demand a recount?”<<<

This week’s brain drain – Try to make sense out of this interview with Texas governor Rick Perry:

Reporter Evan Smith of the Texas Tribune – “Any comments on the new abstinence program, Governor?”

Perry – “Abstinence works.”

Smith – “But we have the third highest pregnancy rate among all the states.”

Perry – “It works.”

Smith – “Can you give me a statistic suggesting it works?”

Perry – “I’m just going to tell you from my own personal life. Abstinence works.”<<<

And finally, here is Dominic Sandbrook’s great dedication to his wife of his new book, Mad As Hell:

“With the self-control of Pat Nixon, the guts of Betty Ford, the drive of Rosalynn Carter and the glamour of Nancy Reagan, she deserves a lot better than to be married to a man with the memory of Ronald Reagan, the humility of Jimmy Carter, the wit of Gerald Ford and the charm of Richard Nixon. It is my good fortune, however, that fate has dealt her such a poor hand.”

Nobody 853

Sunday, February 13, 2011
Nobody # 853

Nobody Asked Me But:

Back in the 60s, one of my favorite television programs was "That Was The Week That Was," a satiric look at the past week’s news. Now I decided to take my shot at the concept, if not the satire – although I may have gone for small humor a few times. So, without further ado, here is:

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS

Gabby spoke, the nation cheered
There’s progress every day.
Lee resigned, he wants more time
With Craiglist girls to play

Repubs battled in the House
There’s turmoil in their ranks
While Cairo rebs more nervous grew
As army threatened tanks

But wait, the generals talked of peace
The tanks and guns were quiet
But not Michelle, who hoped her words
Put U.S. on a diet

Meanwhile there was a White House split
Where Egypt’s future lay
One-half said “Chief, it’s freedom’s chance”
One-half for order say

Michelle defended her POTUS man
Said hair is really gray
While Bristol said that run she may
Come some election day

The “Pack” is back, they won the bowl
All’s well in Cheesehead land
While car bombs took their deadly toll
Within the lands of sand

The NFL is being sued
No seats for Super fans
While Lakers said that ’Drew remains
Most vital to their plans

Mark Sanchez wooed a seventeen
That’s legal in New York
She broke it off because, she said,
“I’m smarter than the dork”

Anger became elation
As Mubarak finally fled
The Tea Party claimed “The Gipper”
He’d be one of us they said

Not so, said “Gipper’s” daughter
Dad was not far right
While Border’s Books and Music
Slipped close to final flight

THINKING OUT LOUD

Did you ever notice that when it comes to living, some days you are the player, and some days you are the played?

For profit medical centers and colleges/universities remind me that profit has few moral anchors.

Did you ever notice that when government spending gets cut, services for the poor go, while subsidies for the rich stay?

And on the Sixth Day, the Tea Party members tried to create Ronald Reagan in their own image. Here are a few important differences:

1. Reagan inclusive - Tea Party exclusive
2. Reagan loved cutting taxes, but raised them when necessary – Tea Party has never seen a good tax or a bad tax cut.
3. Reagan was a pragmatic conservative - Tea Party members are utopian conservatives.<<<

I ran across these questions on the final page of last week’s Newsweek. It is a compare your answers with the one you love exercise, so I thought it would be fun to do so with Barbara. (Note: I added the last question.)

Q: Do you like scary movies?
Jim – No
Barbara – Not particularly
Q: Do you believe in miracles?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: Do you put more weight in science or religion?
Jim Science
Barbara - Science
Q: Has Christianity made the world better or worse?
Jim – worse (Applies to all religion)
Barbara – A wash
Q: Do you prefer simplicity or complexity?
Jim – Simplicity
Barbara - Simplicity
Q: Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?
Jim – Book burning (A flag is a symbol, a book is an idea)
Barbara – Both terrible
Q: Should evolution and creation be taught side-by-side in public schools?
Jim – Absolutely not
Barbara – No
Q: Have you ever traveled alone in a foreign country?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: Should the death penalty be abolished?
Jim – Yes.
Barbara – No
Q: Can you run a mile without stopping?
Barbara – I wish
Jim – Me too
Q: Are you a confident person?
Jim – More often than not
Barbara – Yes
Q: Would it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?
Jim – No. (But a small town like Healdsburg, yes)
Barbara – No
Q: Could you be comfortable being poor the rest of your life?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: What trait do you most admire in athletes?
Jim- Modesty
Barbara – Hard work

ACTION/REACTION

Action: the U.S. mends relations with Al Jazeera.
Reaction: Give America one demerit for being tardy without an excuse.

Action: New airline scanners will not show nudity.
Reaction: Hundreds of TSA people just quit their jobs.

Two words I never thought I would see linked - Respectable and 4.07 ERA.<<<

How I know that lady Justice is not dead - When a suicide bomber is the only victim of his bomb. Or when Jose Luis Ochoa, trainer of fighting animals, was killed by his own chicken – which slashed a major artery in his leg with a blade attached to its beak.<<<

The madness that is man – The Armistice that ended WWI took effect at 11am on November 11, 1918. But did you know that officers on both sides, with full knowledge of this scheduled ceasefire sent their troops into battle that morning resulting in the loss of thousands of lives?

“Every student pointed toward college with rigorous classes and supportive staff.” Nice goal BUT, as Sandy Banks asks in her LA Times column,

“How do you make that happen in a district where the status quo seems to be 35 kids in an algebra class, taught by an exhausted, disillusioned teacher, on a crowded campus run by a principal preoccupied with what test scores say and whether metal detectors are working?”

Is it true: That the McCourts have declared a temporary truce while approaching your Nobody author about writing a rags to riches story entitled – From Boston parking lot attendants To high society in LA: Or How To Turn A Storied Baseball Franchise Into A Champagne And Caviar Meal Ticket?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Nobody # 852

Nobody Asked Me But:

(The name of this photo is Pure Pleasure)

Let’s start with a story in which politeness rules. Last night we had dinner at Black Angus, which had sent a free coupon to celebrate Barbara’s birthday last month. Much to our surprise they brought my wife a free dessert. But when they tried to accompany it with a song, she said, “Please don’t.” So much to her relief, they didn’t.<<<

“Palin grills Obama about Egypt” – (says she can see Cairo from her Alaskan front porch).<<<

All right, I blew it! I should have written earlier about the 4-part, just-completed Downton Abby, a PBS Masterpiece Classic. If I had, perhaps you would have set your DVR to record one of the best television experiences in years. This modern “Upstairs Downstairs” was 360 minutes of fascination and delight. Under the British entail laws, Downton Abby is going to be inherited by the closest male relative, a cousin who, gasp, isn’t even an aristocrat. Just the opposite - he’s a lawyer. Meanwhile, below the staircase, the goings on are just as complicated and just as entertaining.

But all is not lost. You can buy a DVD of the series through PBS for $34.95. It will be money well spent.<<<

Perhaps Pantheism really is the way of the spiritual world and somewhere up there dwells the god of sync. How else can the following be explained? When I buy a book for my Kindle it also appears on my iMac and iPhone. No big deal. But here’s the strange part, where the god of sync comes in. I am reading the book on my Kindle. I stop and go to my iMac. As long as my Kindle 3g is turned on, the book opens up on my iMac at the exact place I left off on my Kindle. Same thing on my iPhone. If there is no synchronization god somewhere up in the clouds, then it’s magic. And I do not believe in magic.<<<

The Social Network v The King’s Speech – I thought that this week I would be a little different and actually see a film I was comparing to The Social Network as the year’s best. The King’s Speech was very good, Academy Award nomination good, but it is not as good as The Social Network. TKS is very Hollywood simple. It tells a little story, jazzed up a bit with warm fuzzies, and tells it very well. The acting is excellent, both Firth and Rush give AA-deserving performances, but I think Rush will lose out to Christian Bale. Helen Bonham Carter, freed from being the evil witch in Harry Potter, is also very good. But The Social Network is deeper, more complex and more ambiguous. If The King’s Speech beats it out for top honors, it will be one more in a long line of Hollywood injustices.<<<

Sometimes the short answer is the best one. The time was 1973, the place, St. Louis. The UCLA Bruins were trying to win their 7^th straight national basketball championship, their 9^th in 10 years. All-American center, Bill Walton was making every shot (21-22 for the game). In the huddle during a second-half time out, guard Greg Lee asked Coach Wooden, “Should we try something else, coach”? Wooden’s answer – “Why?”<<<

Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor, in a recent law school speech, said that she received some excellent advice from Justice Souter when she came to the court. He told her “The key to a pleasant life on the court is to realize that every justice is acting in good faith.”

Nice advice from a good man and a fine justice, but even Souter couldn’t assign good faith to the five Robes who completely politicized the court in Bush v Gore. As you recall, his reaction was both despairing and caustic.<<<

Not that he cares, but I am disappointed in Pat Haden. For a man who said he would make USC squeaky clean, he allowed the football team to crawl through a large NCAA loophole and recruit twice as many players as their sanctions seemingly would have permitted.<<<

An interesting CNN poll last week showed that Americans hate winter, but are evenly divided on their favorite among the other 3 seasons:

Fall 33%

Spring 32%

Summer 29%

Winter 6%

That is a tough vote for me too. I love summer – shorts and warm, but fall would beat it out by the smallest of margins. Spring is a strong third. And, yes, winter is far behind.<<<

According to Sporting News Daily there was an interesting basketball match-up last Wednesday. They wrote: “# 17 Syracuse will play # 6 Syracuse at 7pm EST.” They go on to say “Syracuse leads the series 50-34.” I should think so.<<<

One of my favorite books of recent years is When will There Be Good News?, by English writer Kate Atkinson. It is a crime story and very much more. Atkinson weaves a fascinating tapestry of characters and stories that turn out to be interconnected and lead to a satisfying conclusion. I mention this for two reasons. I am reading, on my Kindle of course, one of her earlier novels, One Good Turn, which is also quite wonderful. And she has a new book, Started Early, Took My Dog, that is coming out in March. If you are looking for a good read, I urge you to buy it and try it. (Or, if you have a Kindle, try it and buy it.)<<<

What Glen Beck is really thinking about Egypt: “Make no mistake about it. I believe in democracy just so long as they vote the Right way.”<<<

I like the old Roman calendar. 12 30 days months – then use the other 5 or 6 days as carnival time – perhaps an extended 4^th of July.<<<

Two notes from the Valley’s past:

July 2, 1920: Roy C. Seeley Co. shops for land to build an aircraft plant in the Valley. A second officer is added to the Van Nuys police force.

July 20, 1928: Irate golfers storm the Van Nuys police station after police arrest all 12 caddies at the Lakeside Country Club for shooting dice.<<<

NY Times report – “This winter’s bad weather slows job growth.”

Republican reaction – “We told you that Obamacare would have a disastrous effect on this great nation’s weather.<<<

PAC-10 note – If you can name a coach in the country who gets more out of his players than Mike Montgomery, please e-mail his name to me.

PAC-10 note # 2 – If you can name more immature fans in the country than Bruin basketball fans, please e-mail me. Their hatred of Steve Lavin is off the wall and off the charts. From all indications, Lavin is a good and decent man who got in over his head as UCLA coach and eventually was fired. Let it go!

PAC-10 note # 3 – In the matter of the Wildcats and Bruins: I have written that the Cats are made up of Williams and the 4 mediocres. That seems no longer the case. Now they seem to be Williams and a solid supporting cast. It is no accident that they lead the PAC.

As for the Bruins, if they can cut back on turnovers and get the ball to Smith more, they seem good enough to challenge the Cats.<<<