Nobody 853

Sunday, February 13, 2011
Nobody # 853

Nobody Asked Me But:

Back in the 60s, one of my favorite television programs was "That Was The Week That Was," a satiric look at the past week’s news. Now I decided to take my shot at the concept, if not the satire – although I may have gone for small humor a few times. So, without further ado, here is:

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS

Gabby spoke, the nation cheered
There’s progress every day.
Lee resigned, he wants more time
With Craiglist girls to play

Repubs battled in the House
There’s turmoil in their ranks
While Cairo rebs more nervous grew
As army threatened tanks

But wait, the generals talked of peace
The tanks and guns were quiet
But not Michelle, who hoped her words
Put U.S. on a diet

Meanwhile there was a White House split
Where Egypt’s future lay
One-half said “Chief, it’s freedom’s chance”
One-half for order say

Michelle defended her POTUS man
Said hair is really gray
While Bristol said that run she may
Come some election day

The “Pack” is back, they won the bowl
All’s well in Cheesehead land
While car bombs took their deadly toll
Within the lands of sand

The NFL is being sued
No seats for Super fans
While Lakers said that ’Drew remains
Most vital to their plans

Mark Sanchez wooed a seventeen
That’s legal in New York
She broke it off because, she said,
“I’m smarter than the dork”

Anger became elation
As Mubarak finally fled
The Tea Party claimed “The Gipper”
He’d be one of us they said

Not so, said “Gipper’s” daughter
Dad was not far right
While Border’s Books and Music
Slipped close to final flight

THINKING OUT LOUD

Did you ever notice that when it comes to living, some days you are the player, and some days you are the played?

For profit medical centers and colleges/universities remind me that profit has few moral anchors.

Did you ever notice that when government spending gets cut, services for the poor go, while subsidies for the rich stay?

And on the Sixth Day, the Tea Party members tried to create Ronald Reagan in their own image. Here are a few important differences:

1. Reagan inclusive - Tea Party exclusive
2. Reagan loved cutting taxes, but raised them when necessary – Tea Party has never seen a good tax or a bad tax cut.
3. Reagan was a pragmatic conservative - Tea Party members are utopian conservatives.<<<

I ran across these questions on the final page of last week’s Newsweek. It is a compare your answers with the one you love exercise, so I thought it would be fun to do so with Barbara. (Note: I added the last question.)

Q: Do you like scary movies?
Jim – No
Barbara – Not particularly
Q: Do you believe in miracles?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: Do you put more weight in science or religion?
Jim Science
Barbara - Science
Q: Has Christianity made the world better or worse?
Jim – worse (Applies to all religion)
Barbara – A wash
Q: Do you prefer simplicity or complexity?
Jim – Simplicity
Barbara - Simplicity
Q: Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?
Jim – Book burning (A flag is a symbol, a book is an idea)
Barbara – Both terrible
Q: Should evolution and creation be taught side-by-side in public schools?
Jim – Absolutely not
Barbara – No
Q: Have you ever traveled alone in a foreign country?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: Should the death penalty be abolished?
Jim – Yes.
Barbara – No
Q: Can you run a mile without stopping?
Barbara – I wish
Jim – Me too
Q: Are you a confident person?
Jim – More often than not
Barbara – Yes
Q: Would it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?
Jim – No. (But a small town like Healdsburg, yes)
Barbara – No
Q: Could you be comfortable being poor the rest of your life?
Jim – No
Barbara – No
Q: What trait do you most admire in athletes?
Jim- Modesty
Barbara – Hard work

ACTION/REACTION

Action: the U.S. mends relations with Al Jazeera.
Reaction: Give America one demerit for being tardy without an excuse.

Action: New airline scanners will not show nudity.
Reaction: Hundreds of TSA people just quit their jobs.

Two words I never thought I would see linked - Respectable and 4.07 ERA.<<<

How I know that lady Justice is not dead - When a suicide bomber is the only victim of his bomb. Or when Jose Luis Ochoa, trainer of fighting animals, was killed by his own chicken – which slashed a major artery in his leg with a blade attached to its beak.<<<

The madness that is man – The Armistice that ended WWI took effect at 11am on November 11, 1918. But did you know that officers on both sides, with full knowledge of this scheduled ceasefire sent their troops into battle that morning resulting in the loss of thousands of lives?

“Every student pointed toward college with rigorous classes and supportive staff.” Nice goal BUT, as Sandy Banks asks in her LA Times column,

“How do you make that happen in a district where the status quo seems to be 35 kids in an algebra class, taught by an exhausted, disillusioned teacher, on a crowded campus run by a principal preoccupied with what test scores say and whether metal detectors are working?”

Is it true: That the McCourts have declared a temporary truce while approaching your Nobody author about writing a rags to riches story entitled – From Boston parking lot attendants To high society in LA: Or How To Turn A Storied Baseball Franchise Into A Champagne And Caviar Meal Ticket?