Nobody 815

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Nobody # 815

Nobody Asked Me But:

Now it can be told. A short nine years ago, after the tryout pictured above, I was offered a contract by the Los Angeles Dodgers. Although they would have paid me slightly more than my retirement check, I turned them down, telling them that it takes most of my free time to write these Nobodies.<<<

What really matters is: Pursing joy every day. (But not if you are married to someone other than Joy.)

Obviously, I take some getting used to. One of the things that Barb at first found strange about me is that every time I go somewhere that I am less than thrilled about, I like to soften the chore by having a treat along the way. For me, it brings a little joy that turns drudge to fun.

By the way - strange or not, my wife, being the great sport that she is, has learned to not only accept this quirk most of the time, but to enjoy it herself.

So forget the apple. A bit of joy a day keeps your troubles at bay.<<<

My joy for Monday was stopping on the way home from Barb having her teeth cleaned at an incredible gelato store on Tujunga. We had wanted to try the Gelato Bar, owned by Gail Silverton, sister of famous LA chef, Nancy Silverton, for months. Their affogato, Ecco Caffe poured over gelato with whipped cream and Valrhona cacao nibs was named the best in town by Internet food site, Chowhound. My wife insisted I try one – her treat. It was far beyond delicious. Incredible sounds about right. (I had mine with pistachio gelato, but many flavors would work.)

Because it was my first ever, I can’t testify that it is the best in town, but if you can point me to a better one I will give you a lifetime subscription to Nobody.

Gelato Bar 
4342 1/2 Tujunga Ave
, Studio City, CA 91604-2751
(818) 487-1717<<<

Here’s something I didn’t know. Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, was a former LAPD officer and speechwriter for the department’s legendary chief William H. Parker. And it was the coldly cerebral Parker who served as Roddenberry’s model for Mr. Spock.<<<

I am sure you have heard of softball questions, i.e., ones that are very easy to answer. Well the LA Times threw one at its readers when it asked which team, between the Dodgers and the Angels, had the better owner.

91% of the respondents chose the angels Arte Moreno. My only question is how the other 9% could be so wrong?<<<

On the subject of polls, ESPN asked its on-line readers whom they wanted to win the U.S. Open. This was after Phil Mickelson’s commanding victory at the Master’s. Despite all the negatives thrown at Tiger by the media, and even though “Lefty” is deservedly popular, 56% chose Woods to 30% for Mickelson and 14% for “Other,” whoever that is.<<<

What’s in a name: Shouldn’t the Colt’s Jeff Saturday have changed his name to Sunday when he moved from college football to the NFL?<<<

A friend sent this to me. Some of you may already have seen it but it is worth reading again and again.

If you could create a village with 100 residents who proportionally represent all the world’s people:

6 would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from America,

80 would live in poverty,

70 would be illiterate,

50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition,

1 would be dying,

1 would be being born,

1 would own a computer,

1 would have a university degree.<<<

It was Sunday evening, October 30, 1938. I was four years old. The Great Depression was still going on. In Europe, Hitler was on the move. The American people were nervous. On that night, Orson Wells and his Mercury theater group broadcast the H. G. Wells classic, “War Of The Worlds.” The presentation, done in the style of breaking news, was so realistic that many Americans who tuned in after the show started believed that Martians had actually invaded the United States. While some of tales of people running into the streets or, in some cases, killing themselves fall into the urban myth category, there were thousands of calls by frightened people to local government entities trying to determine the validity of the threat.

Thanks to the magic of the Internet, I finally listened to the entire broadcast last week, and I can see why some people took it seriously. It was very real and very scary.<<<

http://www.oldtimeradiofans.com/template.php?show_name=Mercury%20Theater

Last Wednesday began the spring signing period for basketball recruits. It was, as always, a time of hopes and disappointments and, again as always, a time for far too many college coaches to perfect their black art of cheating. Greg Hicks, who surveys recruits and recruiting in the West for Scout.com, said it well the other day: “As I said a few years ago, cheating in college basketball (and football) will continue until the NCAA changes the risk/reward ratio for coaches. Right now, the potential reward is simply too great compared to the risk if caught.”

Why doesn’t the NCAA change the ratio? Because basketball (and football) are cash cows that keep the organization’s coffers full. So they do just enough to maintain the appearance of running a clean show. Coaches who actually do run a clean show and win should be candidates for sainthood.<<<

“Horns” by Joe Hill

I just finished listening to a fascinating novel, “Horns,” by Joe Hill. It is the story of Iggy Parish who has been living on the edge since his girlfriend was raped and killed a year ago. One morning, after another night of drinking several cups of “bitterness,” Parrish awakes to find his head adorned with a set of horns. This gift, we presume from the Devil, although it could be from Hill’s God who is not above playing dirty, enables Ig to read people’s minds and memories. So off we go on a sometimes not so merry romp as Hill comments on good and evil and whether God or the Devil is really man’s best friend.<<<

One week from today we will be having our breakfast pastries at one of our favorite bakeries, Rustic Bakery, in Mill Valley. (pictured below)

Nobody 814

Sunday, April 11, 2010
Nobody # 814

Nobody Asked Me But:

Deep thought for the week: A clear conscience is usually the result of a poor memory.<<<

In case you missed it, here is the latest from the Vatican. Pope Benedict XVI says: The Catholic Church takes pedophilia very seriously. From now on, for every priest who is found guilty of sexual abuse, we will excommunicate an uppity nun.<<<

Wasn’t that a great National Championship game last Monday? Butler almost pulled off an upset that would fall into the “one for the ages” category. Luckily, I no longer hate Duke or Coach K, so that softened the outcome.<<<

And as I look back on my woebegone effort to pick the winners in tournament, I remember these words from one of America’s greatest philosophers, Yogi Berra, who said, "Prediction is difficult, especially about the future."<<<

The wisdom of Mary Todd Lincoln: While being courted simultaneously by the bright, clever, penniless Abraham Lincoln and the bright, dull, wealthy Stephan A. Douglas, chose Abe saying, "I decided it was more important to laugh than to eat.<<<

Which brings me to the first episode of What Matters Now, which is entitled, “Letting It All Out.”

If you want to laugh or cry, “Let it all hang out.” Don’t settle for a smile or hide your tears behind a wall of “bravery.” Some people hold back the tears, lest they fall apart. It is my experience that tears can do the opposite. They often help a person “fall together.” And, since laughter can make you live longer, check this out:

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running
his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, John asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to
make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants
to buy Mom.<<<

I am sure you remember my writing about how much I liked the Swedish novel, “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” I saw the film version Wednesday, and it was excellent. Rarely have I seen a movie be as true to the book and still be this good.

However, with modern technology, is it still necessary to have white on white subtitles?<<<

I have written several times about the sheer beauty and romance of a sunset drink at The Inn at Spanish Bay, as the piper crosses the dunes and then the grass playing his tribute to the fading day. I am finally able to show you in the picture above, which is part of my ongoing project of scanning all of our old pictures.<<<

When Abe Lincoln shut up – from “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.”

Abe Lincoln and his friend Jack Armstrong, no, not that Jack Armstrong, were walking to Chicago to kill a vampire. Abe was in love and couldn’t shut up about it, to the point that Armstrong wanted to throttle him. When they finally found their vampire Jack smashed him and smashed him, as though in a rage.

“Jack, why do you carry on so?” Lincoln asked.

“I was pretending it was you,” Armstrong answered.

Abe was unusually quiet on the walk back to New Salem.<<<

Mel Gibson, if he is sober, must be smiling this week. The Pope just named Archbishop Jose Gomez to take over the Los Angeles archdioceses when Cardinal Roger Mahony retires next year. Gomez is a member of Opus Dei, the far right sect that worships the pagan god Yesterday and thinks Dan Brown is not just a rich, lousy writer but the Devil’s number one guy.<<<

As you read this, try not to forget that - atheism is a non-prophet organization.<<<

In 1988, American Heritage Magazine ran a fascinating piece on the most overrated and underrated persons in our history. You can Google it if you want to read more. One of the strangest entries was that of then Texas governor, Frank Vandiver whose choice for underrated was Jefferson Davis.

It seems to me that it is pretty difficult to underrate a traitor.<<<

Time Magazine published the following list of athletes who have fallen from grace. How they could list Tiger ahead of O.J. is beyond me. Since when is adultery more serious than murder?

Tiger Woods
Mark McGwire
O.J. Simpson
Jack Molinas
Mike Tyson
Pete Rose
Ben Johnson
Michael Vick
Tonya Harding
Marion Jones

The top three on my list would be Simpson, Vick and Harding.<<<

To count the things about science I do not understand you would need all your fingers and toes PLUS the fingers and toes of everyone else in America, so it is not surprising that our ability to see 13 billion years back into time just boggles my mind. That is within 700 million years of when it all began.<<<

Isn’t it time to get rid of the one-and-done players in college basketball? The NCAA and the NBA should jointly agree to adopt the baseball rule. A player either goes directly to the league from high school or, if he chooses college, is ineligible to be drafted until after his junior season or third year of eligibility, whichever comes first.<<<

Action: David Brooks recently wrote favorably about the communal, “back to the village” movement in America.

Reaction: There are things I like and dislike in it. I think small is nice, but it is also a wonderful hiding place in which to ignore our society's great problems.<<<

Action: Bart Stupak won’t run for reelection.

Reaction: Chalk one up for the Brown Shirts.<<<

Here’s a quick look back at earlier NCAA tournaments:

In 1944 Utah spurned an invitation to the tournament and chose instead to play in the more prestigious NIT where they lost in the first round. Then, when an automobile accident forced Arkansas out of the NCAA, Utah replaced the Razorbacks and won it all.

Some of us remember when basketball shorts were short, but how about when they had belt buckles?<<<

Let’s listen in on Augusta National chairman Billy Paine:

WHAT HE SAID - "It's not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here, it is the fact he disappointed all of us and more importantly our kids and grandkids.”

WHAT HE REALLY SAID – “Damn! I wish we had never integrated this place.”<<<

And, finally, here’s Tiger’s friend (Sir) Charles Barkley giving him some excellent advice. Tiger should tell the press and everyone else:

“Hey listen, I’m not going to walk around on eggshells anymore. I understand that I messed up. I own this. This is my fault. I’ve apologized to my wife and I’ve apologized to my kids. The rest of ya’ll can kiss my ass.”<<<

Really, really finally: So Tiger slipped up yesterday on the 16th and said the F word. So he gets mad when me makes a bad shot. So what? At least give him credit for choosing a “vulgarity,” with which he is intimately familiar.<<<

Nobody 813

Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010
Nobody # 813

Nobody Asked Me But:

“There are but two kinds of men who desire war: those who haven't the slightest intention of fighting it themselves and those who haven't the slightest idea what it is.” A Lincoln

And so, we are down to two – Butler and Duke. Based on what I saw yesterday, I don’t think Butler can beat the Blue Devils who seem to be peaking. I hope I am wrong.<<<

Best quote of the tournament: “If I was not playing, I’d be a Butler fan,” Michigan State coach Tom Izzo.

The best-named player in the tournament didn’t make it to the FF. That would be Xavier's Special Jennings.<<<

Continuing in my quest to “out” stupidity in Tucson, I give you this comment posted in the Arizona Daily Star relative to the census forms being mailed out: “I threw mine in the trash, and so did my neighbor.”<<<

“Happy Days” was one of the shows listed on a recent CNN list of television shows that “jumped the shark,” (outstayed its welcome). I agree. Like many great television shows, it was an outstanding show as long as it kept its original cast, but less so with each cast change. Even M*A*S*H* was not a complete exception. Although better than almost any at remaining brilliant, it dimmed slightly when Gary Burghoff and Larry Linville left. Only the change from McLean Stevenson to Henry Morgan was seamless.<<<

No more free lunches. Not all the best things in life are free. The morning e-mailed edition of The Sporting News that I have written about is going to start charging $2.99 a month. And guess what? I will pay it. It is just too good to miss. And, at least, I get the first 60 days free for being such a loyal reader.<<<

David Brooks posed the following question in a column last week:

Two things happened to Sandra Bullock this month. First, she won an Academy Award for best actress. Then came the news reports claiming that her husband is an adulterous jerk. So the philosophic question of the day is: Would you take that as a deal? Would you exchange a tremendous professional triumph for a severe personal blow?

No way. I did that once. I sacrificed key parts and moments in my relationship with my children for the ego strokes of being president and chief negotiator for the Simi Educators Association. Despite the personal growth, it was a huge mistake. Never again will I place ambition above love.<<<

There is an interesting fringe benefit, however, for winning an Academy Award. Research by Donald A. Redelmeier and Sheldon M. Singh has found that, on average, Oscar winners live nearly four years longer than nominees that don’t win.<<<

I knew I liked Ralph – “We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did you know that:

1 When first used in the United States, catsup was used mainly on pork chops?

2 Giovanni Carmazzi, Tee Martin and Spergon Wynn were all quarterbacks taken ahead of Tom Brady in the NFL’s 2000 draft?

Here is another for my list of Best Negative Movie Reviews: “It's doubtful that records are kept about this sort of thing, but consider the possibility that ‘Clash of the Titans’ is the first film to actually be made worse by being in 3-D.<<<

I read the other day that one of the numbers listed on the Republican National Committee letter is a phone sex line. Perhaps this is one of the party’s 12 steps to wean their members off the extra-curricular real thing.<<<

Baseball 2010 – Here are my annual predictions. I would tell you to take them for what they are worth, but then you might charge me.

AL EAST

The Red Sox have better pitching, but the Yankees have the better over-all line up and pitching that is not far behind Boston. As for the Devil Rays, they are petitioning the Supreme Court to be placed in one of the other division, in either of which they would be strong favorites.

AL CENTRAL

This is the tightest 3-team race in baseball between the Twins, Tigers and White Sox. All three have excellent pitching and the Twins have the hitting to match. Throw in their new ballpark and you can see why I started this piece intending to pick them. But something keeps whispering “Tigers,” who have had an excellent spring, in my ear. So I am calling it Tigers, Twins with the White Sox third.

HOT TIPS – Watch out for Austin Jackson or Scott Sizemore, both Tigers, to win the Rookie of the Year award. Another Tiger, second-year pitcher Rick Porcello, will be top 5 for the AL Cy Young and Robinson Cano (Yankees) will win the batting title.

AL WEST

I like the changes made by the Mariners, but I still think that the Angels have too much balance to be caught.

WILD CARD

This is going to be an incredibly tight race between the Red Sox, Twins and Mariners. My brain says Sox. My intuition says Twins. I will go with the latter.

NL EAST

The Phillies have too much balance and a front office willing to spend enough (Roy Halladay) to keep them on top. They will lap the field. Atlanta’s pitching gives them a slight edge over the Marlins for second.

NL CENTRAL

The Cardinals have the league’s best player and two of its top pitchers and not much else. But that will be enough for them to edge out the improving Brewers.

NL WEST

The Dodgers have several outstanding young stars, but their key remains in left field. If the “old” Manny is out there, they will win the division. If it is the post-suspension Manny, they won’t. Since I lean towards the latter, I will go with the Rockies who are solid and balanced. The great/pitch, no/hit Giants and the improving Diamondbacks will battle for third.

HOT TIPS - watch for: Justin Upton (Diamondbacks) to have a monster year, Clayton Kershaw (Dodgers) to be top five for the Cy Young and Oldis Chapman (Reds) to be ROY.