Nobody # 804

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nobody # 804

Nobody Asked Me But:

A GRANDFATHER’S THRILL

I received this e-mail from Emily (above) last Saturday:

I took my poetry book to school the other day, because we are learning about poetry and they loved it. They loved all the poems you wrote for me!<<<

MY ADVICE TO PRESIDENT OBAMA (This was written last Monday at Starbucks over a malt and a cup of black. So if you hear any of it in the State of the Union speech on Wednesday you will know that the president has been tapping my iphone.)

Go to the people and say: “Look, after I was sworn in as your president I wanted so badly to make this country and your lives better that I came on like ‘Big Daddy.’ I talked when I should have listened, and when I did listen, too often it was to the wrong people – the ‘old way’ people – yesterday’s bunch.”

“So tell me your priorities again. This time I will listen. I don't promise to forget my dream of a better America, but I do promise to make your immediate well-being my first priority.”

Then give a few specific examples – but no more than two or three<<<

He needs to say these things because:

He has allowed the simplicity of right to be corrupted by the complexity of politics,

or

As “Cool hand Luke” would have told him, – “What we have here is a failure to articulate.”<<<

Reaction: Nice job President Obama. It was not as good as if you had followed my advice even more closely, (you could have used my words – for free) but you hit the key points – admitting some degree of failure, promising to listen better, making the economy your first priority but still sticking to your basic plan for the country.<<<

It is too bad that your party in congress has lost their majority – or at least it seems so from the way they are ready to adopt the Republican agenda. Until they prove me wrong, let’s just call them The Frightened Ones, or The Gutless Bunch – your choice.<<<

The final word on his week goes to the basketball-loving president: “I went to the Republican House caucus just yesterday to prove that I could go to my right once in a while."

HANDICAPPING THE OSCARS

Best Picture nominations are will be announced Tuesday and even though ten will ne nominated, only four have a chance of winning. So, as a public service, I am handicapping these four.

Avatar – even: Too big to be ignored. (Except by me.)

Hurt Locker - 6-5: The critic’s darling and Hollywood’s chance to reward the ex-wife.

Inglorious Bastards – 10-1: Hollywood loves Tarantino. (Their reason escapes me.)

Up In The Air – 15-1: Should be co-favorite with “Hurt Locker.” But that’s show business.<<<

ACTION/REACTION

Action: Mayor Bloomberg and other NYC officials pressure Obama to move the September 11 terrorist trial away from Manhattan.

Reaction: Jesus, Bloomberg, I thought you were a better man than that. Show some courage!

(Note – apparently the president is going to give in to the pressure and move the trials.)

Reaction: Jesus, Obama, I thought you were a better man than that. Show some courage!

On the other hand

Action: "After retirement, I'm coming after your job, Clark." "I'm just letting you know. So you either have three more years or seven more years." President Obama doing a bit of color at the Georgetown/Duke basketball game Saturday.

Reaction: How great to have a president with a sense of humor, and one he can even turn on himself.

Action: When it comes to moving high school students into higher education, Arizona ranks 50th.

Reaction: If it weren’t for Elizabeth's record at Nogales High, the state would drop to 53^rd.

Action: The conservatives on the Supreme Court uphold the “right” of gay rights opponents to be both politically active and anonymous.

Reaction: So there is a right to privacy after all as long as your name is not Roe. Hypocrites!

Action: Texas wide receiver Dan Buckner, who was recently charged with criminal trespassing and resisting arrest, is transferring to the University of Arizona.

Reaction: From what I hear, he is moving to the Grand Canyon State because their easy-access gun laws will make his extra-curricular activities easier to pursue.

Action - Heard on The Daily Show – South Carolina’s Lt. Governor Andre Bauer says he is against free lunches, because they will allow the poor to survive, grow up and breed.

Reaction - If there is ever a reason to forgive Mark Sanford for confusing the Blue Ridge Mountains with Argentina, Andre Bauer is IT!

Reaction # 2 – Is Jon Stewart the greatest living American – no cross out American - make that human? Now do you understand why I call for him to be declared a national treasure and an endangered species?

Action: “The circumstances of our time demand that we reconsider and restore the proper, limited role of government at every level.” Gov. Robert F. McDonald while giving the Republican response to the president’s SOTU speech.

Reaction: In other words, he wants to return to the pre-Obama deregulation so that Wall Street can once again “have it’s way” with us.

Action: Atticus Bookstore and Café, near Yale, recently issued a policy stating that English should be the only language spoken on the floor and behind the counter. Many Yale students are protesting this decision.

Reaction: If Yale allowed a required course to be taught in a foreign language, perhaps the students would be less tolerant of language barriers.

Reaction # 2: It is just common courtesy to speak in a language those around you can understand.

Reaction #3: Or as Robert Crais’s character, Joe Pike says in the author’s latest novel – “English! I’m not going to tell you again!”

Action: Kentucky moves into the number 1 spot in college basketball rankings.

Reaction: Who says that cheaters never win?

Reaction # 2: They don’t! The Wildcats lost Tuesday, in their first game as # 1.

FOUR LITTLE WORDS

“The Cavaliers play harder.” This was the lead line to a story in last week’s LA Times that compared the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Lakers thus far in the season. It says a lot, not only about the Lakers who are so frustrating as they often “mail it in” while marking time until the play-offs, but about every fan’s nightmare - my Bruins, Dodgers, Lakers, Tigers “didn’t show up.”

In any contest between two teams (or individuals) who are fairly evenly matched, (and sometimes not even that) the team that plays the harder usually wins. So why can’t a team that wants my loyalty give me an A or A- effort every time out?<<<

QUESTIONS

Emily: Grandfather, I need help with my homework. What is a simple definition of a politician?

Grandfather: Someone with the ability to believe his own lies.

Emily: Grandfather, can you give me a four-word sentence for why people join The Tea party?

Grandfather: Being alone frightens them.

Emily: Grandfather, how can I explain how much a trillion is to my friends?

Grandfather: Tell them that if they count one number per second it will take them 1,688 years to reach 1,000,000,000,000.

IN MY UTOPIA

Basketball teams protecting a surmountable lead will not be so foul conscious that they give up an uncontested lay-up.

A basketball player who thinks a referee missed a call in his favor will not show up the ref by pointing out his mistake in post-game remarks.

Athletic scholarships will be either 4-year commitments on the part of the university or players will be allowed unrestricted right to transfer after any year.<<<

Final thought - Every time I read about “The Who’s’ coming performance at the Super Bowl, I think of their film, “Tommy,” the worst movie I have ever seen.

Nobody 803

Sunday, January 24, 2010
Nobody 803

Nobody Asked Me But:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YESTERDAY, TO MY WIFE, WHO REMAINS YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME.

Tuesday Morning, January 19, 2010 – 10:15

“Love is not love which alters where it alteration finds.” Shakespeare, Sonnet 116 – My favorite of Parker’s quotes.

I am in shock! I just did a routine check of the LA Times list of recent news and read that Robert B. Parker has died. Parker was my favorite fun novelist. I cannot begin to describe the joy he has given me. Jesse Stone, Sonny Randall and the incomparable Spenser (with Hawk and Susan) have been pleasurable companions for over 20 years. (I was late in my discovery of Parker.)

Parker, with his Spenser novels, led the mystery “comeback” in the 1970s. He was not a great or complex writer. His books were almost entirely dialogue – but it was excellent dialogue – fast, sharp, observant and irreverent. Yes, it is true that over the last 10 years as he emphasized quantity over originality, his plots became more formulistic. I laughingly – but fondly – observed that he had reduced everything to a computer program, so that he had only to add a small amount of new and out popped one of his three novels per year.

And yet, just as I have been eagerly looking forward to his new Jesse Stone, due out next month, so have I eagerly awaited his every publication.

Parker’s passing will leave a hole in my life – a small one, because my life is much more than reading, but a hole. Again, as with Kavanaugh, I am saddened. More so, I think, because where the poet drifted away in the last decade, Parker was there with a new novel every 4-6 months - a clock-work pleasure.<<<

Parker Add-on: I love this tribute from Harlan Coben: “When it comes to detective novels, 90 percent of us admit he’s an influence, and the rest of us lie about it.”<<<

So, two weeks in a row I write obits. How do they speak to me about death? Pretty much they reinforce that which I have been feeling since I turned 75 last summer, which is: Even though to the best of my knowledge I am in excellent health, I can no longer look forward to any future event with a strong sense of certainty.

That sounds depressing, but I am far from depressed. I find joy and a sense of relief in knowing that I am beyond worry (mostly) and into acceptance. Life is always day-to-day. It is just more so now.

Add-on: And just think, having passed the magic age barrier – no more colonoscopies or PSA tests.<<<

PRESIDENT OBAMA

My definition of good continues to be the practice of treating others the way you want to be treated. With this in mind, and this may surprise or startle you, of all our presidents since Abraham Lincoln, I think that Barack Obama is the most genuinely good person.<<<

SENATOR BROWN

Mr. Brown said on Wednesday that voters are “tired of the backroom deals” and would punish the Democrats if they tried to wiggle out of their predicament. (Passing the health care bill once he is sworn in as the 41st Republican senator.)

They may well be, but thoughtful people are even more tired of obstructionist Republicans who oppose by rote and block democracy with filibusters.<<<

TWO VIEWS OF CELEBRITY

Fox News - campaign 2008: “Obama is a CELEBRITY, not someone we can take seriously.”

Fox News - MA election, 2010: “Brown is a CELEBRITY and the Democrats better watch out, because he is going places.”

KNOW YOUR PARTY PROFESSIONALS: WITH A FEW EXCEPTIONS, DEMOCRATS ARE DUMB AND REPUBLICANS ARE IMMORAL AND VISCIOUS.<<<

“Republicans may be united in cynical obstructionism, but at least they're united.” NY Daily News<<<

The great lie: We have the world’s best healthcare system.

The great liars: Republican politicians and commentators.

The great gullibles: The too many Americans who fall for the lie.<<<

Honest to god, I cannot handle the Republican liars and the Democratic dummies (and citizen dummies too) any more. I think my days of political passion are nearing their end.<<<

But before they are gone completely – here are David Letterman’s top two comments on the Palin/Fox News coupling. Palin:

2. Actually found a place with more white people than Alaska.
1. Announced plans to run for President in 2010.<<<

I love this quote from Bertolt Brecht’s “Galileo:” One of Galileo's students says, "Unhappy the land that has no heroes," and the scientist responds, "No, unhappy the land that needs heroes."<<<

IN MY UTOPIA – which I know at times sounds very much like Singapore:

Men misusing public restrooms (failure to flush, leaving their urine all over the toilet seat, etc.) would receive their choice of automatic life sentences without possibility of parole or spend their two-week vacation every year cleaning filthy public toilets.<<<

CORNY, BUT I LOVE IT: When you are asked by grocery store personnel to answer that fateful question “paper or plastic,” just say "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."

This week’s remedial English award goes to the Laker’s Shannon Brown who, when asked if he has been chosen to participate in the All-Star slam-dunk contest, answered: “I haven’t heard nothing.”

Second place goes to North Carolina’s Roy Williams for – “So line-up changes have been a lot.”

I finally watched “Watchman” on HBO the other night. Here is my 2-cent review: Bizarre and pretentious crap meets gratuitous violence.

And it had a lousy ending too.<<<

On the other hand, “It’s Complicated” made me laugh out loud. What more of a recommendation do you need?<<<

56 BOOKS

I did a count the other day, and I read – or in two cases reread – 56 books in 2009. Here are the best and worst of them.

Worst
First Family by David Baldacci (My second Baldacci = fool me twice, shame on me.)
Roadside Crosses by Jeffery Deaver (Amateur hour – and his last book was quite good. Go figure.)
Three Weeks To Say Goodbye by C. J. Box (Box is normally a good writer, so there is no excuse for this mess.)

Best

That Old Cape Cod Magic by Richard Russo - total enjoyment from page first to page last.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson – I have already written about this great read.
The Dead of Winter by Rennie Airth - It has been a 6-year wait, but John Madden is back and England is under siege from the Nazis.
9 Dragons by Michael Connelly – Connelly is the best crime fiction writer alive not named James Lee Burke and this is one of his best.
Rain Gods by James Lee Burke – Burke still writes prose that a poet would gladly claim.

I also reread Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird and continue to believe that it may well be the greatest American novel.<<<

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YESTERDAY, TO MY WIFE, WHO REMAINS YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME.

Barb says that she (and we) are actually young in spirit but old in joints.

Nobody 802

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Nobody # 802

Nobody Asked Me But:

To

A cat named Ralph who makes me laugh

and feel loved

And a tired old man who makes me cry

And feel helpless

But especially those

Who can hear the honking of geese

Above the sound of traffic

Who can hear the weeping of boys

Above the sound of mortars

Who refuse to take life as it is -

Because it wasn't always.

James Kavanaugh - Dedication from “There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves.”

James Kavanaugh, the Catholic priest who turned away from his church and became a humanist poet, died on December 29 in Kalamazoo, Michigan. His death was reported in the LA Times this past Monday. Kavanaugh was an inspiration to me. His words were there during the challenging times that were important periods of my growth.

A counselor where I taught introduced me to Kavanaogh’s work by pointing out that his poem “There Are Men To Gentle To Live Among Wolves” (also the title to his first book of poetry) could have been written with me in mind. I bought the book and the others that followed. In every one I found words that reminded me of my possibilities. Could one ask for anything more?

I met Kavanaugh twice, once in Santa Barbara, and again in Laguna Beach after he moved his institute there. He was kind enough to encourage my poetry.

His death, at 81, saddens me, because the best people lighten life’s darkness, if just a little, and another candle has gone out.

http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-james-kavanaugh9-2010jan09,0,5484496.story

Each of the following is an excerpt from one of Kavanaugh’s poems. I have placed the poem’s title in parentheses at the end.

There are men too gentle for a savage world

Who dream, instead, of snow and children and Halloween

And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon – (“There Are men Too Gentle To Live Among Wolves”)

But I will make you laugh

And love you quite a bit

And hold you when you are sad. – (“Will You Be My Friend”)

Who am I? I am not sure

Once I was a rabbit’s grave and a basketball hoop on the garage. - (“Will You Be My Friend” - part of the book’s introduction)

I knew this skinny little kid

Who never wanted to play tackle football at all

But thought he’d better if he wanted

His daddy to love him. – (“I Knew This Kid.”)

One of these days,

I’ll jump the last few walls;

Give no explanation

Save “simplicity calls!” – (“Of Simplicity”)

I was born to catch dragons in their dens

And pick flowers

To tell tales and laugh away the morning

To drift and dream like a lazy stream

And walk barefoot across sunshine days. (“Sunshine Days and Foggy Nights”)

When it all gets too heavy, I go down to the sea

……………………………………………

I lie for hours almost motionless

Laugh at ambition

Know that most pain

Is the by-product of my plans

The weight of my expectations. (“When It All Gets Too Heavy”)

I will not be bound, even if I die a stranger.

…………………………………..

For the only courage is to know I am afraid

To begin there. Perhaps to end there.

And never to lie again. (“One Day I gave Up Boundaries”)

Without you I can do my own laundry – though I always manage to lose one sock

I can cook my own food – though I always break the egg yolks

But without you

I can’t read my own eyes

Or hear my heart

Or show off

Or laugh. (“Woman”)

Yesterday’s lover, child of the sun

Trusted companion, wonderful one

Keeper of wisdom, so much to say

Yesterday’s lover, nothing today? (“Yesterday’s lover”)

“But what will produce growth and progress, Harry Langendorf?”

“Perhaps if we are not pushed and prodded or made to feel ashamed, we will achieve our growth – and our joy as well.”

“But you must seek to find, Harry Langendorf,” they said.

“No,” he said. “It seems to be in not seeking that I find.”

“But who will teach our young wisdom and discipline?”

“Wisdom is not taught,” said Harry Langendorf. “Systems are taught. Wisdom comes from experiencing life, or it never comes at all. And life is its own discipline.” (These three passages are from “Celebrate The Sun.”)

We’ve got to stop laughing like this

Someone might see us

And wonder why we’re giggling

When the whole world is weeping,

…………………………………….

(and did I tell you that

your bottom lip hangs down

like a baby bulldog’s,

that your teeth are crooked

and I love you.) (“Someone Might See Us”)

LET GO OF IT ALL

Let go of it all and see where it takes you.

Let the money slide away and the tense young men

Who talk of security and conquests.

Let the cars whiz by, the square jaws and too bright eyes.

Stumble and fall and lie prone upon the earth

Until you taste the dirt again and make friends with the fog.

Toss your plans aboard the first wind heading north

And your ambitions on a breeze heading south.

Let it all descend upon you like lava and sunshine

And let the clouds guide you as they will.

There is no mountain high enough to climb with

Final satisfaction,

No hole deep enough to dig, no ocean vast enough to cross.

There is only laughter and peace and the present moment,

Your breath in unison with the throbbing earth,

Your flight as aimless and transient as the birds.

Let it all go and wash you like the rain,

Let it all go and buffet you like the wind,

Let it all go and see where it takes you

Until you are one with the earth and all its

Inhabitants.

Nobody 801

Sunday, January 10, 2010 – or 1/10/10 (cool)

Nobody # 801

Nobody Asked Me But:

Imagine my shock when my friend Jim found this long-lost biography of me in a used bookstore. What a great Christmas surprise.<<<

Last Sunday’s LA Times Magazine contained an article about the water shortage. The author, a man named Peter Glieck, closed with a statement that grabbed me. He wrote that our failure to solve our water problems was our “failure to choose to solve them.”

In a broader sense, isn’t that the story of post moonwalk America? As a people and a nation, we are unwilling to make the effort or pay the price to solve our country’s great problems.

And when we finally elect a president who has the courage to address these problems, but not the ability to solve them quickly, - an impossibility - the people turn against him and join all the Mad Hatters at their Tea Party.<<<

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/05/opinion/05brooks.html?hp

I have gone through many changes in the past few years, some important, some not so. I suppose that being hungry at lunchtime is a not so. I have always been a breakfast and dinner goy, (I meant guy – a Freudian finger-slip perhaps) but recently my stomach complains if I don’t eat something in the middle of the day. I am trying, successfully so far, to satisfy it with a bite or two, but my wife isn’t helping. After my bites, she invariably forces one of her Christmas cookies down my throat.<<<

FOR YOUR EDIFICATION

Just in case you are contemplating a book that takes place in the UK for your next read, I am including this translation guide – for free.

Chat up – talk to a person in hopes of gaining something. “I think I will chat up that woman at the bar.”

Take away – we buy take-out. The British take it away.

Carer – caregiver to us.

Digestive biscuit – the British cousin to our graham cracker.

Lie-in -staying in bed late.

Arse - When does an American ass become a British arse?

Pulled a face - we would say made a face.

Eying up a girl – checking out in American.

Rotten – a great deal as in, “I fancied her something rotten.”

The extension – a family room or den as in, “my plasma television is in the extension.”

Sneck-lifter and cock-a-hoop – brands of British beer.<<<

If in truth, the daily newspaper is on a fast-fade track, local television newscasters must be nearing a panic mode. They may have to actually find stories rather than take them verbatim from their city’s morning edition.<<<

I do not believe in censorship except when used to prevent violence and protect children, but I am getting very tired of the food police telling me what and what not to eat. Everywhere I watch and/or read, people are trying to shove “healthy” food and drink down my throat. It is more than enough to make me gag.<<<

SCARY TREND

Has anyone else noticed that more and more Islamic suicide fanatics are coming from the professional ranks – scientists, physicians, etc.?<<<

“AVATAR” – A MINORITY REPORT

Some day people will ask, “Did you see it?” And the few young people who didn’t plunk down the bucks will respond, “No, but I played the video game.”

Start with the “Wizard of OZ.” Mix in a healthy dose of “Jurassic Park” and a smaller one of “King Kong.” Now season it heavily with 21^st century computerized special effects and you have a billion dollars and counting. I didn’t dislike the movie, as I did the recently watched “Revolutionary Road.” (Which was a good argument for outlawing all Tivo-like devices.) But neither did I think it was anything incredible. The dialogue was embarrassingly simplistic. The plot was hackneyed. The effects were – well – special, but not all that new. I will give credit to the 3D, which was not intrusive – or is it extrusive? A Best Picture Academy Award nominee? If there were still only five, no way. But since there are ten this year, give one to the multi-billion dollar baby. But do not, I repeat, do not give it the Oscar.<<<

And since I mentioned “Revolutionary Road,” and since you know I am a fan of caustic one-line reviews, how about this one from yours truly?

“Revolutionary Road” takes the viewer directly to sheer misery.<<<

ON BOOKS

If an author brings me close to tears, he must be doing something right. I just finished listening to David Benioff’s excellent novel “City of Thieves.” The story is about two Russians during the WW II siege of Leningrad (St Petersburg). To avoid being executed, they must find a dozen eggs - an almost impossible task – for a KGB colonel. I highly recommend this book.<<<

Quote of the Week – Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl after 4 of his players are charged with armed robbery – “My team still has plenty of weapons.”<<<

Recruiting for low bellybuttons – Tyler Honeycutt is a Bruin freshman basketball player who has great potential. His one handicap is that he has a high bellybutton, which means that his legs are very long. This makes it difficult for him to bend low enough to take the proper defensive stance.<<<

TWO MORE USES FOR MY IPHONE.

I have long wanted to reread “Shogun,” one of my favorite novels, but have hesitated because of all the unread books in bookstores and my library. But now (for a scant $7.19) it is on my iPhone kindle and I can read a few pages whenever I am waiting for whatever.<<<

I can also use my phone when I am feeling low as in this e-mail I sent to Barbara a few days ago. - “It is a good thing that you are not with me, or you would have been embarrassed because my malt was so good that I cried when it was gone.”<<<

IN MY UTOPIA

The dreadful NFL sudden death overtime rule will be banished forever and replaced by one that is less dependant on a coin flip and more on the on-the-field performance of the teams.<<<

WHAT, TUCSON SCHOOLS TOO?The writer was commenting on Arizona’s 76-74 loss to Washington State: “We have a good coach, good players, we need PATIENTS, PATIENT patients.”(Unless, of course, he is a shill for the University Medical Center.)

New Year’s resolution of the year – comes from David Brooks. “Don’t end the year so that you qualify to be a contestant on ‘America’s Biggest Loser.’”