Nobody # 804

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Nobody # 804

Nobody Asked Me But:

A GRANDFATHER’S THRILL

I received this e-mail from Emily (above) last Saturday:

I took my poetry book to school the other day, because we are learning about poetry and they loved it. They loved all the poems you wrote for me!<<<

MY ADVICE TO PRESIDENT OBAMA (This was written last Monday at Starbucks over a malt and a cup of black. So if you hear any of it in the State of the Union speech on Wednesday you will know that the president has been tapping my iphone.)

Go to the people and say: “Look, after I was sworn in as your president I wanted so badly to make this country and your lives better that I came on like ‘Big Daddy.’ I talked when I should have listened, and when I did listen, too often it was to the wrong people – the ‘old way’ people – yesterday’s bunch.”

“So tell me your priorities again. This time I will listen. I don't promise to forget my dream of a better America, but I do promise to make your immediate well-being my first priority.”

Then give a few specific examples – but no more than two or three<<<

He needs to say these things because:

He has allowed the simplicity of right to be corrupted by the complexity of politics,

or

As “Cool hand Luke” would have told him, – “What we have here is a failure to articulate.”<<<

Reaction: Nice job President Obama. It was not as good as if you had followed my advice even more closely, (you could have used my words – for free) but you hit the key points – admitting some degree of failure, promising to listen better, making the economy your first priority but still sticking to your basic plan for the country.<<<

It is too bad that your party in congress has lost their majority – or at least it seems so from the way they are ready to adopt the Republican agenda. Until they prove me wrong, let’s just call them The Frightened Ones, or The Gutless Bunch – your choice.<<<

The final word on his week goes to the basketball-loving president: “I went to the Republican House caucus just yesterday to prove that I could go to my right once in a while."

HANDICAPPING THE OSCARS

Best Picture nominations are will be announced Tuesday and even though ten will ne nominated, only four have a chance of winning. So, as a public service, I am handicapping these four.

Avatar – even: Too big to be ignored. (Except by me.)

Hurt Locker - 6-5: The critic’s darling and Hollywood’s chance to reward the ex-wife.

Inglorious Bastards – 10-1: Hollywood loves Tarantino. (Their reason escapes me.)

Up In The Air – 15-1: Should be co-favorite with “Hurt Locker.” But that’s show business.<<<

ACTION/REACTION

Action: Mayor Bloomberg and other NYC officials pressure Obama to move the September 11 terrorist trial away from Manhattan.

Reaction: Jesus, Bloomberg, I thought you were a better man than that. Show some courage!

(Note – apparently the president is going to give in to the pressure and move the trials.)

Reaction: Jesus, Obama, I thought you were a better man than that. Show some courage!

On the other hand

Action: "After retirement, I'm coming after your job, Clark." "I'm just letting you know. So you either have three more years or seven more years." President Obama doing a bit of color at the Georgetown/Duke basketball game Saturday.

Reaction: How great to have a president with a sense of humor, and one he can even turn on himself.

Action: When it comes to moving high school students into higher education, Arizona ranks 50th.

Reaction: If it weren’t for Elizabeth's record at Nogales High, the state would drop to 53^rd.

Action: The conservatives on the Supreme Court uphold the “right” of gay rights opponents to be both politically active and anonymous.

Reaction: So there is a right to privacy after all as long as your name is not Roe. Hypocrites!

Action: Texas wide receiver Dan Buckner, who was recently charged with criminal trespassing and resisting arrest, is transferring to the University of Arizona.

Reaction: From what I hear, he is moving to the Grand Canyon State because their easy-access gun laws will make his extra-curricular activities easier to pursue.

Action - Heard on The Daily Show – South Carolina’s Lt. Governor Andre Bauer says he is against free lunches, because they will allow the poor to survive, grow up and breed.

Reaction - If there is ever a reason to forgive Mark Sanford for confusing the Blue Ridge Mountains with Argentina, Andre Bauer is IT!

Reaction # 2 – Is Jon Stewart the greatest living American – no cross out American - make that human? Now do you understand why I call for him to be declared a national treasure and an endangered species?

Action: “The circumstances of our time demand that we reconsider and restore the proper, limited role of government at every level.” Gov. Robert F. McDonald while giving the Republican response to the president’s SOTU speech.

Reaction: In other words, he wants to return to the pre-Obama deregulation so that Wall Street can once again “have it’s way” with us.

Action: Atticus Bookstore and Café, near Yale, recently issued a policy stating that English should be the only language spoken on the floor and behind the counter. Many Yale students are protesting this decision.

Reaction: If Yale allowed a required course to be taught in a foreign language, perhaps the students would be less tolerant of language barriers.

Reaction # 2: It is just common courtesy to speak in a language those around you can understand.

Reaction #3: Or as Robert Crais’s character, Joe Pike says in the author’s latest novel – “English! I’m not going to tell you again!”

Action: Kentucky moves into the number 1 spot in college basketball rankings.

Reaction: Who says that cheaters never win?

Reaction # 2: They don’t! The Wildcats lost Tuesday, in their first game as # 1.

FOUR LITTLE WORDS

“The Cavaliers play harder.” This was the lead line to a story in last week’s LA Times that compared the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Lakers thus far in the season. It says a lot, not only about the Lakers who are so frustrating as they often “mail it in” while marking time until the play-offs, but about every fan’s nightmare - my Bruins, Dodgers, Lakers, Tigers “didn’t show up.”

In any contest between two teams (or individuals) who are fairly evenly matched, (and sometimes not even that) the team that plays the harder usually wins. So why can’t a team that wants my loyalty give me an A or A- effort every time out?<<<

QUESTIONS

Emily: Grandfather, I need help with my homework. What is a simple definition of a politician?

Grandfather: Someone with the ability to believe his own lies.

Emily: Grandfather, can you give me a four-word sentence for why people join The Tea party?

Grandfather: Being alone frightens them.

Emily: Grandfather, how can I explain how much a trillion is to my friends?

Grandfather: Tell them that if they count one number per second it will take them 1,688 years to reach 1,000,000,000,000.

IN MY UTOPIA

Basketball teams protecting a surmountable lead will not be so foul conscious that they give up an uncontested lay-up.

A basketball player who thinks a referee missed a call in his favor will not show up the ref by pointing out his mistake in post-game remarks.

Athletic scholarships will be either 4-year commitments on the part of the university or players will be allowed unrestricted right to transfer after any year.<<<

Final thought - Every time I read about “The Who’s’ coming performance at the Super Bowl, I think of their film, “Tommy,” the worst movie I have ever seen.