Nobody 707
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Nobody 707
Nobody Asked Me But:
Headline in Friday’s LA Times: They found clarity in the chaos
For rescuers and the rescued, actions overtook emotion in the wake of Minneapolis bridge collapse.
Is it not always so? Our power to think makes us special in the world, but it also brings us special trouble. There is an ever-present awareness buried deep within our brain, a knowledge that we are finite. It makes us anxious. It confuses us.
But any time we are forced by crisis or led by accidental wisdom to live for the moment, confusion becomes clarity and anxiety gives way to courage.
I wrote this poem many years ago. It says essentially the same thing as above, but in a different way:
ACCIDENTS
I stumbled on a laugh today,
Fell over a warm moment,
Tripped on a good feeling
And accidentally rediscovered
That I like myself.
Funny,
I’ve been trying to get here all week,
Working at myself,
Talking to myself, saying,
“Go away fear, goodbye safety,
I’m OK,”
And never really believing it.
And then,
I stumbled on a laugh today,
Fell over a warm moment,
Tripped on a good feeling
And found me.
Make me King for a day and I would ban forever all speechwriters for politicians. Let them write their own material as most did in pre-modern America. Perh
aps then we will get to know the man or woman and not the creation.<<<
“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” – one more time: One thing that I loved about the book and movie was the way Rawling takes a shot at “be-on-this-page-on-November-18 education and the empha
sis on testing that goes with it.
The delightfully dangerous Dolores Umbridge (above left) tries to destroy creativity at Hogwarts and substitute rote repetition of the “word” as dictated by the Ministry of Magic. Sound familiar?<<<
There is nothing that cuts more into the glamour of ancient Rome th
an to find out that Marcus Tullius Cicero had Irritable Bowel Syndrome.<<<
Jesus said unto him: If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell what thou hast and give to the rich and thou shalt have treasures in heaven. (Mathew 19:22* King George Version)<<<
My bad for
insulting your intelligence last week. You may not know the Ray Bolger of “Where’s Charlie,” but of course you all know him as the Scarecrow in “The Wizard of Oz.”<<<
This week’s booby prize goes to MSNBC for spending 23 minutes, and 2 seconds discussing Hillary’s. (Yes, someone timed and compared networks.)
Joke time, courtesy of Bob Thille:
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." (and you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.) Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse.<<<
My favorite Bergman film is “Fanny And Alexander,” 1
982. What’s yours?<<<
JIM’S WISDOM (Just a name, not a claim)
UP: Jim, (my friend, not me) for his new novel. It’s excellent, much better than many that I read. I just hope that some publisher sees the light this time around.
UP: Hugh, for “I did get my first birdie of the summer! Sank a VERY long putt!”
DOWN: Rudy Gullani, whose proposal to deal with controversial social issues by tilting federalism more towards states rights, ignores the shoddy and immoral performance of many states when they had decision- making power on these issues. Think slavery and segregation, invading the bedroom and non-separation of church and state to name a few.
UP: Jerry Tarkanian, (fist in the air) who, when coaching, was an expert on breaking NCAA rules, for this too funny remark, "In major college basketball, nine out of 10 teams break the rules. The other one is in last place."
Tark is a cynic and wrong but not totally so. Too many coaches break the rules and many more bend them a bit. (Not Ben Howland though)
DOWN: George and David. Our President has declared General David Petraeus the reigning expert on all things Iraqi. Yes, the same General Petraeus who cited soccer games as an example of “the astonishing signs of no
rmalcy” in Baghdad last month.
Actually, I suppose Petraeus is correct in that daily double-figure innocent deaths seem to be the norm in America’s Iraq.
UP: Chelsea Clinton, for being an all-round class act.
DOWN: Vegetarians – At least in God’s view as revealed in Chapter 4 of Genesis where Cain offers God the fruit of the soil as an offering, while Abel brings the choicest meat. God scorns Cain's vegetarian platter, so Cain jealously slays his brother.
Perhaps Mel Brooks was right and there were more commandments until Moses dropped and broke one of the stone tablets. If so, surely one of them read – “Thou shalt eat steak, for I the Lord thy God am a carnivorous God.”
Down: Sunni Arabs, for condemning our presence in Iraq while at the same time not wanting us to leave for fear of a Shi’ite power alliance between Iraq and Iran.
UP: Robert Ludlum and V.C. Andrews, who have continued writing novels years after they died. They give new meaning to the term “ghost writer.”
UP: Jack Paar, who, even though he is also no longer alive, left a classic comment for researchers Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. The two University of Texas professors have cataloged 237 reasons to have sex. Here’s Paar with reason 238.
“It’s better than sitting on an egg for 3 months.”
Down: Experts and voters, for including the Christ Redeemer Statue in Brazil as one of the new Seven Wonders of the World. I would feel equally strong if they had chosen another nominee, the Statue of Libert
y.
Both pale beside such unchosen wonders as Stonehenge and the Acropolis.
Saturday night downs
DOWN: Conservative House Democrats who voted with Republicans to approve the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, another Bush proposal to walk all over the Bill of Rights.
DOWN: Baseball Commissioner Bug Selig who, although in attendance at last night’s game in San Diego, looked like the home run by Barry Bonds, his 755th which tied Hank Aaron’s all-time record, left a bad taste in his mouth. With all the admitted cheaters in the Hall of
Fame, who does Selig think he is to judge Bonds more harshly then the others – especially when he has not yet been proven guilty of anything?
JIM’S WISDOM (Just a name, not a claim) SPECIAL EDITION – a fair and balanced evaluation of the Bush presidency:
Up: George Bush’s first day in office. His Inaugural Address was a thing of beauty – one of the best ever
Down: – His second day, when his first act was a cruel one – ending federal assistance to the International Planned Parenthood Federation.
Up: No child left behind.
Down: Not funding No child left behind.
Up: His immigration proposals, which were in line with these inspiring words from his speech – “America is not blood or birth or soils but ideals that make us move beyond our background and that every immigrant, by embracing these ideals makes our country more not less American.”
Down: Wasted influence – He has spent his influence on the tragic folly called Iraq.
SIDEWAYS – The Medicare prescription plan – it is better than nothing, but not much better.
WAY DOWN: His imperial view of the Presidency.
Now for more important things such as this exchange between your writer and LA Times sportswriter Mike Digiovanna on what constitutes a “monster” season in for a hitter.
From: Jim Turner [mailto:jimtca@earthlink.net] Sent: Sun 7/29/2007 10:08 PM To: mike.digiovanna@latimes.com
Subject: Hyperbole Hyperbole – “An extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as ‘to wait an eternity.’"
Mike, I most certainly hope that your statement in today's Times was not meant to be taken seriously. Fred McGriff's .291 average, 37 home runs and 101 runs batted in 1993 hardly constitute a "monster" season - very good yes, monster, far from it.
On Jul 30, 2007, at 9:01 AM, DiGiovanna, Mike wrote:
Sorry Jim ... back before steroids, 37 HR and 101 RBIs WAS a monster season ...
Sorry back Mike,
Even before steroids it took 40+ home runs and a batting average much better than .291 to make a monster season.
Jim<<<
Appendix: Stop, if you have read enough. If not, here are my choices in the Brackatology contest to choose the best boy’s name. The bold on is the my choice in contest and each round:
BABY BOY’S NAMES
ROUND ONE
Carter – who would be mean enough to name their son Addison?
Addison
Stephen – Xavier Turner? No thanks.
Xavier
Eli
James – I sort of like Eli but James is for special people.
Cooper – I don’t much like either one, but at least Cooper is different. Hi, coop!
Francis
Russell
Truman - I had an evil cousin named Russell so I will go with Truman, but weird.
Carson - These first round choices are strange, so I’ll take Carson by default.
Felix
Dustin
Benjamin – A much better contest. I like them both but I choose Benjamin, and not just because that is the name of one of my grandsons.
Campbell
Issac - because Campbell is a girl’s name.
Kyle –A first name beats a last name almost every time.
Anderson
Blake
Max – still weird but Max is at least kind of cute.
Nathan, – Nate because it would be cheating to shorten Benson to Ben.
Benson
Holden
Sullivan – Another Hobson’s choice.
Samuel
Atticus – Now we are getting somewhere. Both are great, but I love “To Kill A Mockingbird.”
Daniel – Frasier is pretentious.
Frasier
Harrison – Sawyer Turner? I don’t think so.
Sawyer
Everett – I hate both of these but I hate Oscar more.
Oscar
ROUND II
Carter
Stephen – Steve, Stevie vs. Car, Cartie – no contest
James – I still don’t like Cooper.
Cooper
Truman – I wouldn’t be caught dead naming my son either of these, but having to choose, I take the president over the city.
Carson
Benjamin – I could be happy with either, but Benjamin has such nice tones.
Issac
Kyle – Kyle Jeffery Turner. I like it.
Max
Nathan, – Nat Turner. There’s a rebellious name if I ever heard one.
Sullivan
Atticus
Daniel – As much as I like Atticus, my son wouldn’t. So, Danny boy it is.
Harrison – No son of mine is going to be named Everett
Everett
Elite EIGHT
Stephen
James – Close, but James at the buzzer
Truman
Benjamin – I Not close. They need a mercy rule for this game.
Kyle – Kyle Jeffery Turner. I like it. I STILL LIKE IT.
Nathan
Daniel – One of my favorites
Harrison
FINAL FOUR
James – Hey, this name has worked for me good enough to make the Finals.
Benjamin
Kyle –
Daniel – I really like this name a lot.
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
James – Hey, this name has worked for me good enough to make the Finals.
Vs.
Daniel – I really like this name a lot.
And the winner is………….. Daniel. I told you I really liked it a lot.
Nobody 707
Nobody Asked Me But:
Headline in Friday’s LA Times: They found clarity in the chaos
For rescuers and the rescued, actions overtook emotion in the wake of Minneapolis bridge collapse.
Is it not always so? Our power to think makes us special in the world, but it also brings us special trouble. There is an ever-present awareness buried deep within our brain, a knowledge that we are finite. It makes us anxious. It confuses us.
But any time we are forced by crisis or led by accidental wisdom to live for the moment, confusion becomes clarity and anxiety gives way to courage.
I wrote this poem many years ago. It says essentially the same thing as above, but in a different way:
ACCIDENTS
I stumbled on a laugh today,
Fell over a warm moment,
Tripped on a good feeling
And accidentally rediscovered
That I like myself.
Funny,
I’ve been trying to get here all week,
Working at myself,
Talking to myself, saying,
“Go away fear, goodbye safety,
I’m OK,”
And never really believing it.
And then,
I stumbled on a laugh today,
Fell over a warm moment,
Tripped on a good feeling
And found me.
Make me King for a day and I would ban forever all speechwriters for politicians. Let them write their own material as most did in pre-modern America. Perh
aps then we will get to know the man or woman and not the creation.<<<“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” – one more time: One thing that I loved about the book and movie was the way Rawling takes a shot at “be-on-this-page-on-November-18 education and the empha
sis on testing that goes with it. The delightfully dangerous Dolores Umbridge (above left) tries to destroy creativity at Hogwarts and substitute rote repetition of the “word” as dictated by the Ministry of Magic. Sound familiar?<<<
There is nothing that cuts more into the glamour of ancient Rome th
an to find out that Marcus Tullius Cicero had Irritable Bowel Syndrome.<<<Jesus said unto him: If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell what thou hast and give to the rich and thou shalt have treasures in heaven. (Mathew 19:22* King George Version)<<<
My bad for
insulting your intelligence last week. You may not know the Ray Bolger of “Where’s Charlie,” but of course you all know him as the Scarecrow in “The Wizard of Oz.”<<< This week’s booby prize goes to MSNBC for spending 23 minutes, and 2 seconds discussing Hillary’s. (Yes, someone timed and compared networks.)
Joke time, courtesy of Bob Thille:
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." (and you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.) Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse.<<<
My favorite Bergman film is “Fanny And Alexander,” 1
982. What’s yours?<<< JIM’S WISDOM (Just a name, not a claim)
UP: Jim, (my friend, not me) for his new novel. It’s excellent, much better than many that I read. I just hope that some publisher sees the light this time around.
UP: Hugh, for “I did get my first birdie of the summer! Sank a VERY long putt!”
DOWN: Rudy Gullani, whose proposal to deal with controversial social issues by tilting federalism more towards states rights, ignores the shoddy and immoral performance of many states when they had decision- making power on these issues. Think slavery and segregation, invading the bedroom and non-separation of church and state to name a few.
UP: Jerry Tarkanian, (fist in the air) who, when coaching, was an expert on breaking NCAA rules, for this too funny remark, "In major college basketball, nine out of 10 teams break the rules. The other one is in last place."
Tark is a cynic and wrong but not totally so. Too many coaches break the rules and many more bend them a bit. (Not Ben Howland though)
DOWN: George and David. Our President has declared General David Petraeus the reigning expert on all things Iraqi. Yes, the same General Petraeus who cited soccer games as an example of “the astonishing signs of no
rmalcy” in Baghdad last month. Actually, I suppose Petraeus is correct in that daily double-figure innocent deaths seem to be the norm in America’s Iraq.
UP: Chelsea Clinton, for being an all-round class act.
DOWN: Vegetarians – At least in God’s view as revealed in Chapter 4 of Genesis where Cain offers God the fruit of the soil as an offering, while Abel brings the choicest meat. God scorns Cain's vegetarian platter, so Cain jealously slays his brother.
Perhaps Mel Brooks was right and there were more commandments until Moses dropped and broke one of the stone tablets. If so, surely one of them read – “Thou shalt eat steak, for I the Lord thy God am a carnivorous God.”
Down: Sunni Arabs, for condemning our presence in Iraq while at the same time not wanting us to leave for fear of a Shi’ite power alliance between Iraq and Iran.
UP: Robert Ludlum and V.C. Andrews, who have continued writing novels years after they died. They give new meaning to the term “ghost writer.”
UP: Jack Paar, who, even though he is also no longer alive, left a classic comment for researchers Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. The two University of Texas professors have cataloged 237 reasons to have sex. Here’s Paar with reason 238.
“It’s better than sitting on an egg for 3 months.”
Down: Experts and voters, for including the Christ Redeemer Statue in Brazil as one of the new Seven Wonders of the World. I would feel equally strong if they had chosen another nominee, the Statue of Libert
y. Both pale beside such unchosen wonders as Stonehenge and the Acropolis.
Saturday night downs
DOWN: Conservative House Democrats who voted with Republicans to approve the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, another Bush proposal to walk all over the Bill of Rights.
DOWN: Baseball Commissioner Bug Selig who, although in attendance at last night’s game in San Diego, looked like the home run by Barry Bonds, his 755th which tied Hank Aaron’s all-time record, left a bad taste in his mouth. With all the admitted cheaters in the Hall of
Fame, who does Selig think he is to judge Bonds more harshly then the others – especially when he has not yet been proven guilty of anything? 
JIM’S WISDOM (Just a name, not a claim) SPECIAL EDITION – a fair and balanced evaluation of the Bush presidency:
Up: George Bush’s first day in office. His Inaugural Address was a thing of beauty – one of the best ever
Down: – His second day, when his first act was a cruel one – ending federal assistance to the International Planned Parenthood Federation.
Up: No child left behind.
Down: Not funding No child left behind.
Up: His immigration proposals, which were in line with these inspiring words from his speech – “America is not blood or birth or soils but ideals that make us move beyond our background and that every immigrant, by embracing these ideals makes our country more not less American.”
Down: Wasted influence – He has spent his influence on the tragic folly called Iraq.
SIDEWAYS – The Medicare prescription plan – it is better than nothing, but not much better.
WAY DOWN: His imperial view of the Presidency.
Now for more important things such as this exchange between your writer and LA Times sportswriter Mike Digiovanna on what constitutes a “monster” season in for a hitter.
From: Jim Turner [mailto:jimtca@earthlink.net] Sent: Sun 7/29/2007 10:08 PM To: mike.digiovanna@latimes.com
Subject: Hyperbole Hyperbole – “An extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as ‘to wait an eternity.’"
Mike, I most certainly hope that your statement in today's Times was not meant to be taken seriously. Fred McGriff's .291 average, 37 home runs and 101 runs batted in 1993 hardly constitute a "monster" season - very good yes, monster, far from it.
On Jul 30, 2007, at 9:01 AM, DiGiovanna, Mike wrote:
Sorry Jim ... back before steroids, 37 HR and 101 RBIs WAS a monster season ...
Sorry back Mike,
Even before steroids it took 40+ home runs and a batting average much better than .291 to make a monster season.
Jim<<<
Appendix: Stop, if you have read enough. If not, here are my choices in the Brackatology contest to choose the best boy’s name. The bold on is the my choice in contest and each round:
BABY BOY’S NAMES
ROUND ONE
Carter – who would be mean enough to name their son Addison?
Addison
Stephen – Xavier Turner? No thanks.
Xavier
Eli
James – I sort of like Eli but James is for special people.
Cooper – I don’t much like either one, but at least Cooper is different. Hi, coop!
Francis
Russell
Truman - I had an evil cousin named Russell so I will go with Truman, but weird.
Carson - These first round choices are strange, so I’ll take Carson by default.
Felix
Dustin
Benjamin – A much better contest. I like them both but I choose Benjamin, and not just because that is the name of one of my grandsons.
Campbell
Issac - because Campbell is a girl’s name.
Kyle –A first name beats a last name almost every time.
Anderson
Blake
Max – still weird but Max is at least kind of cute.
Nathan, – Nate because it would be cheating to shorten Benson to Ben.
Benson
Holden
Sullivan – Another Hobson’s choice.
Samuel
Atticus – Now we are getting somewhere. Both are great, but I love “To Kill A Mockingbird.”
Daniel – Frasier is pretentious.
Frasier
Harrison – Sawyer Turner? I don’t think so.
Sawyer
Everett – I hate both of these but I hate Oscar more.
Oscar
ROUND II
Carter
Stephen – Steve, Stevie vs. Car, Cartie – no contest
James – I still don’t like Cooper.
Cooper
Truman – I wouldn’t be caught dead naming my son either of these, but having to choose, I take the president over the city.
Carson
Benjamin – I could be happy with either, but Benjamin has such nice tones.
Issac
Kyle – Kyle Jeffery Turner. I like it.
Max
Nathan, – Nat Turner. There’s a rebellious name if I ever heard one.
Sullivan
Atticus
Daniel – As much as I like Atticus, my son wouldn’t. So, Danny boy it is.
Harrison – No son of mine is going to be named Everett
Everett
Elite EIGHT
Stephen
James – Close, but James at the buzzer
Truman
Benjamin – I Not close. They need a mercy rule for this game.
Kyle – Kyle Jeffery Turner. I like it. I STILL LIKE IT.
Nathan
Daniel – One of my favorites
Harrison
FINAL FOUR
James – Hey, this name has worked for me good enough to make the Finals.
Benjamin
Kyle –
Daniel – I really like this name a lot.
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
James – Hey, this name has worked for me good enough to make the Finals.
Vs.
Daniel – I really like this name a lot.
And the winner is………….. Daniel. I told you I really liked it a lot.
posted by jmt | 9:16 AM
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